They say it’s a man’s world, and we are all just living in it. But does this saying hold today? We live in an age of stepping out of the convention and where tolerance and acceptance of different ideologies, thoughts, and beliefs have become the norm. This article explores the different ideologies of matriarchy, patriarchy, and egalitarianism.
The history of marriage worldwide was centered on patriarchy; the husband was head of the household and the woman. In some instances, the man would assume legal guardianship of his wife. She could not even make any legal transactions without the approval and signature of her husband. However, many couples now choose to step away from the historic doctrines that guided their predecessors’ marriages and adopt a system that works for their union.
Does matriarchy even exist?
This is a social system in which women hold the primary leadership positions in family, political and society. One wonders, has this ever really existed? The answer is yes. Dating back to Greek mythology, many goddesses and female heroes were revered, respected, and even worshipped. To date, there exist some matriarchal societies all around the world, albeit not that many. Examples of such communities are the Mosuo of China, the Bribri of Costa Rica, and India’s Khasi.
A look into patriarchy
Of course, this is the most popular and familiar of the three ideologies. In a patriarchal society, leadership is vested in the father or the eldest male. The descent is through the male lineage, and women are generally excluded from roles of leadership.
And then, egalitarianism.
This trend of thought in political philosophy espouses equality. It acknowledges that all people should have access to the same benefits or positions and should also be treated the same.
A shift in societal outlook
With the rise of the feminism movement, there is a lot of emphasis on gender equality than ever before. It was previously accepted that the male or husband is the head of the family. All significant decisions had to be acknowledged and accepted by him. There is now a change in the status quo. The woman’s role is no longer that of a passive, submissive and voiceless person in the marriage. Women have become emancipated, with seats at the big table and becoming equal or more earners in the home.
So, which system really works?
From my understanding of a matriarchal society, the women lead and raise the family without the men. In some of these communities, men and women do not actually marry. Still, rather consummate, have children, and live separately, with occasional or frequent visits (this all depends on the individual couple). While this may sound ideal for the modern woman seeking to escape patriarchy’s grasp, the system does have its challenges.
Patriarchy is what we have been used to since time immemorial. It is within our comfort zone, well, at least for most. However, depending on how the husband holds the reins in his home, this system has proved somewhat stifling to the modern woman who has her ambitions, hopes and dreams to fulfil.
As our world moves towards equality in all spheres, the egalitarian system is somewhat the more appealing route for the modern couple. This system embodies mutual respect and understanding, which, if genuinely adhered to, creates happiness for all. However, as ideal as this system may sound, this system may face opposition from those in your community depending on your cultural and religious beliefs.
In conclusion
There are no hard and fast rules for life. After all, one man’s meat can be another man’s poison. As a couple, it is essential to evaluate each other’s expectations from the beginning of the relationship. This will help bring a better understanding of each other and what will likely work or not work in the ensuing marriage. There is absolutely nothing wrong with redefining the concept of marriage to suit your own needs and stepping away from the generations’ historic fabric before us.
