Female libido vs male libido…Let the debate begin

Who has the highest sex drive, men or women? This debate has been going on for so long, but there hasn’t been a true winner. Male and female libidos have been the source of many discussions over time. At one point, it seems that men were winning the debate, but as time has gone on and things are changing, women are coming up and taking on the challenge. A sex drive is no longer just for men, but women are also more open about their desires.  This has certainly tipped the scales.

In defence of the male libido

Over time it has been seen that studies have fallen on the defence that men do have a higher and stronger libido than women.  Which I think has boosted their ego into thinking they are just the best at everything. The factors which have awarded this premise are as follows:

  • All that men think about is sex. Whenever given the opportunity, they can turn any moment or any thought into a sexual one. It is seen as a gift.
  • Men will take any opportunity to have sex, even if it is at an appropriate time. Studies have been candid about this and shown men to even break the law for sex.
  • Compared to women, men do not need a lot to get them turned on. They do not need as much imagination as women when it comes to the lead up to sex.
  • The one scientific fact that may back up this premise is that testosterone levels influence sex drive, and since men have a lot of it, their sex drive is higher.
  • Men’s sex drive is higher than women throughout their lives and throughout a relationship, unlike women who will go through various hormonal changes that will impact their libidos at different stages in their lives. In relationships, women are said to have a high sex drive initially, and it goes down depending on how happy they are in a relationship.

The changing perception of women

Finally, they found that women have high sex drives and comparing it to women may be the wrong measure. All along, they have been getting it wrong when studying women’s libidos. They have been asking the wrong questions. It has been noted that yes, as much as men will have sex on the brain when women are in the moment of sexual interaction, their levels of desire are just as high as men. Studies have even found that men in long term relationships can be the ones to have a low sex drive compared to the woman.

A professor of psychology, Lisa Diamond, has gone further to explain why women’s sex drive was missed all this time. The studies focused on supporting the premise that men have a higher libido; they were not looking at the different variable patterns. For instance, due to women’s menstrual cycle, they will have a very high peak during their ovulation, their libido matches that of men.

The theory that testosterone levels play a significant role in increasing sexual desire has also been disapproved. Women whose doctors have given a boost of testosterone have not seen any significant changes, which means those women with high sex drives are not influenced by the hormone.

Women have just been misunderstood when it comes to their sexual desires. The way their bodies react during a sexual encounter is different from that of men. For men, they get aroused, reach their plateau then orgasm. For women, it can vary; they can orgasm first, then the desire and excitement can follow. Women can desire after all the physical stuff has happened compared to rigid men. It has to go one way, or it won’t happen at all.

Who walks away with the prize?

Well, for this debate, there will never be an actual winner. It is now just a more levelled playing field. We have seen that studies we biased before favouring men. However, women are more enlightened now, and social constructs have been removed, and women can express themselves more openly. More open-minded studies have shown that women love sex just as much as men; the only difference is how they go about it and how their bodies react. Everyone is a winner.

Malika I Evans
Malika I Evans
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